Anyway, the following is what I think would go through a pick pocket's mind as (s)he is getting ready to pick a pocket.

I envision this taking place in a packed subway car. It is my very first time and I am nervous as hell.

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Okay. Breathe. In-Out-In-Out.

Not so deeply! Make it seem normal or someone will notice. Damn. What is normal breathing?

God, I can't believe no one else can hear my heart. It feels like the freakin' Blue Man Group is holding a concert in my chest.

Are my eyes shifting? Shifty eyes gives cause for people to be suspicious.

Okay. Calm down. Take your mind off it. Think of... bears. Yes. Bears. That's good.

Running bears. With rolls of flab jiggling about. I wonder if they can feel all that jiggling as they run. Does it hinder them in any way?

Oh look... the perfect target! Ha! That girl's wallet is just begging to be snatched with it all hanging halfway out of her too-tight jeans. What a dumbass. A dumbass with horrible fashion sense. This'll be a snap. God, let this be a snap.

Alright. Time to get in position. *sidles up behind her*

Good. She's too busy mucking about in her thoughts to notice me. This will be easy.

Another minute before the next stop. Feels like eternity.

Bears. Think of bears. Bears catching salmon. Bears standing on their hind legs eating honey. Bears balancing on a big red ball. I hate circuses. I hate clowns. They're scary. Damn horror movies, ruining perfectly innocent perceptions.

Ok... showtime!

Doesn't look as though she is getting off at this stop. Excellent.

Alrightey... swipe on three.

One.

Two.

Three!

Oh God! I did it! Hide it hide it hide it. Not so quickly, stupid. Now is not the time to attract attention with jerky movements.

Out the door. Quick, quick, quick! *slips out the door*

Yes! Ok, now it's the simple matter of calmly walking away. Why are those doors taking so long to close?

*doors slide shut*

Home free, baby! God, that was exhilarating. I hope there are credit cards in this baby. I hope it has cash.