So I finally mustered up the courage today to get out of bed and get to campus an hour early so that I could see my two professors (well, a professor and a coach), explain my absences to them, and then start going to my Monday/Wednesday classes again.

I am one-for-two :P

I saw my professor that teaches my Hazardous Materials Safety class just a few minutes ago. It was so nerve-wrecking. It should not be so but it is and I cannot seem to control it.

He was very empathetic. He even allowed me to hand in the two homeworks that had been due while I was gone.

I suppose, in retrospect, that meeting went about as well as it could. I didn't get myself in any new trouble, I got myself out of old trouble, and I nipped what could have become my academic downfall in the ass. It was a good, if nervous, experience.

So why did I find myself walking towards the computer lab to waste my next couple hours instead of walking towards the multipurpose building to speak with my coach?

As I was walking away from his office, I kept thinking "OK... one down, one to go!" and my mind was going over what I should say to the coach.

But then I realized that my feet seemed to not want to listen to me. They just kept making their way for this computer lab I am in now.

The walk from the professor's office to the computer lab was one huge mental argument with myself. You should go! No! Go! Why? Coz you need to. Not good enough a reason!

By the time I reached the computer lab door and opened it, I knew I had lost that argument. I am so missing another class today and I am already feeling the oncomings of another anxiety attack.

What is wrong with me?